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July’s Great Truth About You: I AM LOVING!

July 1, 2014 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott
 

July's Great Truth About You is I AM LOVING

July’s Great Truth About You is I AM LOVING

It’s JULY!! And that means, it’s time for a new Great Truth About You! This is a special month because it represents a full year of This Stuff’s Working Coaching guiding you on this journey to discover…no…REMEMBER, the best things that are good and true about you! We restart the cycle with July’s Great Truth About You: I AM LOVING! Yes it’s true!!! 

I am loving. 
I love. 
I am loved. 
I am love. 
I love me. 
I love you. 
You love me. 
Love me. 
Love you.
Love.
I am loving. 

With this comes the return of KL’s Love Notes to social media! I’m excited to get them before new eyes and teach more people how to manifest the relationship they seek and find their equal in love and in life. 

Finally, look for a Love Quote of the day across my social networks and let’s have some good conversations about what it means to love and BE loving. 

Have I told you I love you today? (I love you.) Have you? Get to it! 

 
With Great Love,
 
Coach KishaLynn
 

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KL’s LoveNotes #28: Don’t Stop, Don’t Give Up, Don’t Quit

July 31, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 28 Dont Stop Dont Give Up Dont Quit

Persistence is the #1 element to success in any goal, including manifesting love. If you give up on the plan and process of attracting the love you want, then it gives up on you. Don’t. Give. Up.

Even if you fail at first, or tenth.

Even if it’s hard.

Even if it’s taking longer than you’d hoped.

Don’t stop. 

Don’t give up. 

Don’t quit. 

If you want to take a break, take a break. If you don’t want to look proactively, that’s fine. There’s all kind of paths that can lead to love. No one said you had to remain on one in particular. Just keep your heart open to what you want to receive. 

The bottom line is to still and always hold in your mind (where all things, including love, are created) genuine desire for and belief in the love you want.

Don’t ever, ever, ever give up. There is always more love and more to love.

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This post concludes this series of KL’s LoveNotes. If you followed the series, I hope it added value to your vision of love for your life. If any of these spoke to you, or worked for you, please reach out and let me know.

KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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KL’s LoveNotes #27: Take Karali’s Online Dating Advice

- Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 27 Take Karalis Online Dating Advice

 

I know online dating is huge these days. A study by researchers in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences says that more than 1/3 of marriages in the U.S. begin with online dating

So, what kind of relationship coach would I be if I didn’t offer at least one LoveNote around online dating strategies?

Every one of my LoveNotes so far has been crafted and shared from my heart, and from my personal experience. I’ve applied all of them in my own life, and have created an extraordinary and lasting love with my partner of seven years and my wife of five. We didn’t meet online. Our meeting was just one of those right place, right time things that happened to me after I implemented the very same tips I’ve shared in these LoveNotes.

But, in April 2013, fate arranged for me to be soaking in a hot tub with a delightful woman who had recently found the love of her life online. Her name is Karali. She was sharing some of the lessons she’d learned from years of online dating. She said she had it down to a science. I asked her for permission to share some of her insights and she said yes! So, with no further ado, I bring you:

Karali’s Online Dating Advice 

1. Don’t judge a profile by its picture. Go only by what they wrote and only see whose profile or letter reflects something you clearly have in common. Pictures are basically projections of what we think we see anyway.

2. Don’t invest a lot of time in prolonged email exchanges. Set up a phone conversation after just three or so emails. This helps prevent building people up in your mind and ending up disillusioned.

3. Consider anyone who is a strong writer, who has something interesting about them, who has things in common with you. It helps to consider a WIDE variety of types of people online. I believed that that my mind didn’t hold all the answers here.

4. Just because you consider a wide variety doesn’t mean you invest time in meeting each person. Again, screen them on the phone. After 15-30 mins talking, you can generally tell very clearly if there is a vibe between you. For me, if they talked too much, were argumentative (or made me feel argumentative), only talked about concrete events (as opposed to what they learned), then it was clear it wasn’t a good match.

5. After the phone conversation there is a decision point. You’ll now how you feel from talking to them. If you don’t like them and they ask you on a date, the kindest thing to do is to tell them in a gentle way that you feel it’s not a good match. Thank them for spending the time speaking with you.

6. If you need it, take the time to think about it. Say you want to digest the conversation and think about it and you will write them back soon. Don’t rush. Don’t feel pressure to please. Even if it was a pleasant conversation and you don’t want to hurt their feelings, it’s much more kind to be clear upfront than to leave them wondering. Though daring and awkward, anyway you slice it, weeding out the Nos is part of the process.

7. Trust your gut and your heart. You don’t need to look into their eyes to feel what opens up in a conversation. However, you don’t always know while on the phone. It might take a day or two after a conversation to get a feeling. Keep your head out of this. It takes some time and experience to get good at being open to a broader spectrum while also being able to trust your instincts.

8. If you feel excited about someone, even at the email stage, consider putting off other suitors until you thoroughly check out your main interest. Energetically, it can be difficult to keep up multiple conversations.

9. Online dating can be a bit of a roller-coaster, and even disillusioning at times. Try your best to keep your emotions and hormones in check to avoid multiple disappointments.

10. Meeting in person takes a lot of energy. Save it for the ones you’ve really screened. Then, be open to meeting lovely people and having positive experiences, even if you know they aren’t going to be serious relationships. Be game for learning through having fun with someone.

If online dating is your strategy of choice, then happy surfing and let me know how it goes! 

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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KL’s LoveNotes #25: Don’t Settle For Less

July 30, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 25 Dont Settle For Less

 

Your desires and your plan for love can certainly be flexible. They will change and evolve as you are ever doing the same.

Beware the difference though between deciding you want something different/better, and settling for less because you believe your standards are “too high”. The point is to get what you want, even if the end result looks very different from the starting vision.

Instinct will tell you one way or another–the emotions involved in this process are subjective. That’s why your feelings are your best compass. Trust them and trust yourself. If you ignore/override the feeling that what is in front of you isn’t what you want, and settle out of desperation, you could be setting yourself up for far more misery and heartbreak. You deserve better.

Build love for yourself strong enough to be chosen over options that fall drastically short of your ideal. You’ll be happier that way. 

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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KL’s LoveNotes #23: Write A Welcome Letter To Love

- Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 23 Write A Welcome Letter To Love

 This is another visualization exercise designed to put you in the powerful feeling place of having the love you want now.

Grab a piece of paper or a blank screen, and write a letter, welcoming the love you desire into your life. Use present tense language. No one will ever see it unless you decide to share it later and even then you can edit it. So, just let go and allow the words to flow from within you.

Express gratitude that this love has arrived. Write about your hopes and dreams for what you will accomplish together in this love. Share your joy and let the love know that it is so, so welcome in your life. Make commitments to care for that love, and ask to be cared for in return.

When your letter is done, sign it with your heart. Then, use it as a meditation tool over the coming days. Read and revise it regularly. It should generate tons of allowing emotional energy for you.

Know that when you practice this technique, you aren’t just playing worthless make-believe.

Rather, you are making what you believe through the creative process that is thought.

That’s the power you possess. Use it.

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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KL’s LoveNotes #21: Set Goals and Create A Plan For Love

July 26, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 21 Set Goals And Create A Plan For Love

 

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This quote is POWERFULLY TRUE. If you’ve been sitting around wanting love (or anything else), but you haven’t actually put a plan in place to achieve and receive it, then your desire is little more than a wish.

Wishful thinking is fine for birthday candles, wishbones, and shooting stars. But when it comes to your one true love, if you really want it, and you’re really ready for it, then it’s time to set some goals and create a plan to get it.

Establishing a dating plan or a love plan doesn’t need to be as stuffy and formal as it seems. It’s simply about deciding on a few measurable outcomes for yourself, then working towards accomplishing them over a set period of time. This way, you know you’re actually DOING SOMETHING to get what you want instead of waiting around waiting for it to show up (and complaining about its absence).

Here are a few goals you might want to think through as you establish your plan. I’ve included some sample targets for each for demonstration purposes only. But, feel free to adopt or adapt them if they feel right for you: 

How many dates do you want to go on?
SAMPLE: At least 1 date every two weeks for the next 3 months.

How many new people/friends would you like to meet?
SAMPLE: At least 3 new connections over the next 3 months.

How many activities will you join/do/try out?
SAMPLE: At least 2 social activities per month for the next 3 months.

How many online dating sites will you join/try out?
SAMPLE: At least 2 completed profiles on different sites. 

How much time will you devote each day/week/month to this goal? 
SAMPLE: At least one hour a week specifically focused on working this plan.

What will the results of this plan be if successful?
SAMPLE: More vibrant social life; regularly dating people with shared interests; greater self-confidence; more clarity around desires; viable candidates for long-term relationships

How long will you work this plan before assessing its effectiveness? 
SAMPLE: Review and assess progress at least once per month.

Again, this is just a sample plan. You may have different goals and targets. You might want to move faster than three months, or slower. You might not want to do online dating, and prefer to take one of many other paths that could lead to love…it’s all up to you.

The important part is to make the plan, then work the plan, and rework the plan until the plan works.

I’ve created a signature Law of Attraction based system called the D.R.E.A.M. Plan which takes you through five essential steps to creating a comprehensive manifestation plan for any burning desire. To learn more about it, check out my bestselling e-book: A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! Get ready to make a Love D.R.E.A.M. come true.

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to find their equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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KL’s LoveNotes #20: Be Ready

July 25, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 20 Be Ready

There are good times and bad times to date. Here are a few ways to tell that romantic love might not be your highest priority at the moment:

-You’re still in another unhappy relationship.
-You’re fresh out of another relationship/marriage.
-You’re in recovery.
-You’re in the closet.
-You’re grieving or mourning loss.
-Something else is needing/demanding your full attention for a short/fixed period of time.

If you are in any of these situations, I want to be clear that I am NOT saying that you can’t get or have the love you want in your life. Some people in these situations do find true love at the same time. Anything is possible. Besides, you can and will overcome all of these and other obstacles to romantic love.

I just want you to consider the value of being fully ready to give and receive romantic love. It’s important to acknowledge how challenging it is to devote your mind, spirit and heart to someone else when there’s so much you still need to take care of within, or without, in your life.

If you realize you aren’t ready, then giving up isn’t the answer. Getting ready is. Go through what you need to go through. Do what you need to do. Get the help you need to get. Do so carrying true belief in the love you seek in your heart and mind always. It may just take some time.

One of my favorite quotes is by Earl Nightingale: “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

Time will pass. Choose to get closer and closer to love as it does. Be ready.

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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KL’s LoveNotes #18: List the Requirements For Your Next Love

July 22, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 18 List The Requirements For Your Next Love

It’s time to take getting clear on what you want to the next level. The more specific you are in the details of what you want, the more accurate your manifestation will be.

I know it can be hard to ask for precisely what you want. There’s fear of disappointment to combat, as well as the critical “yeah right” voice of your inner cynic.

The way through that is to realize that you are in creation mode right now. Creating requires vision and details. That’s the work. Once you do the work, in some ways you can detach from the outcome, knowing you’ve done your part to express your desire completely, and having faith that you will manifest that, or something better, in a harmonious way.

Besides, you’re not writing your ideals in stone. They will evolve and change as you are constantly evolving and changing. No need to expect perfection–only to understand and believe in what would be perfect for you.

Having your clear criteria defined helps you in every other phase of the process to create the love you seek. It helps you:

-Know where to place yourself
-Assess and weigh your prospects in an informed way
-Visualize the love in your life in rich color
-Recognize your true love when it arrives

If you find it hard to list your requirements, here’s a “pro-tip”:

Start from the basis of someone you already know you like. Then add and subtract your desired characteristics to that person. In other words, use your “crushes” for more than woeful pining. Let your affection be a strong starting point for shaping your vision. You can even do this with a celebrity infatuation. For example, let’s say you have a crush on (wait for it…) Beyonce. Then your starting requirements for your next love might include criteria about being stunningly beautiful, being musically talented, currently making a successful living pursuing their passion in life. From there, you might add that the person needs to be accessible to you and available for love (which Beyonce is decidedly not). You might subtract the characteristic that Beyonce is a workaholic and must travel around the world for long periods of time without you. See? Now you have a pretty nicely defined set of criteria for what you’re seeking! 

It may start out as a bit silly, but in all seriousness, be prepared for this experience to take you anywhere. Most importantly, be expectant that it will lead you to the love you want and deserve.

For more guidance on building out your requirements, go read my blog “Requirements For My Next…” 

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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KL’s LoveNotes #17: Become A Flirt

July 19, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 17 Become A Flirt

 

Ahhh, the fine art of flirting! It’s a skill that anyone–YES ANYONE–can (and should) acquire. Even if/when you’re not single anymore, flirting can help keep the love flames burning. So, if you don’t know how to flirt–LEARN. If you do know how to flirt–DO IT!

What is flirting?

Well, none of the “dictionary” definitions really do it for me, so here’s my very own:

Flirting is the friendly act of communicating interest in another person.

You can flirt verbally with words/compliments.

You can flirt non-verbally with facial expressions using your eyes and mouth or by using your body language–how you sit, stand, hold your arms, etc.

You can flirt in writing. 

You can flirt in ways that engage the five senses: using images, sounds, taste, scent and touch if and when appropriate.

There are truly so many delicious and fun ways to flirt. 

Flirting gets a bad rap because some interpret it to be overtly sexual in nature. Not so.

While there definitely IS a way to flirt sexually, my emphasis is more on friendly interest. The desired outcome is not necessarily sex, or even love. The outcome to communicate interest. That covers a range of desires from:
-Establishing eye contact
-Getting a smile or a compliment
-Having a conversation
-Spending time with someone in a casual or dating setting
-OK, yes you can be interested in sex too. 😉

So, who should you flirt with? Well, if you’re trying to cultivate the skill and art of flirting, then here’s one bold strategy:

FLIRT WITH EVERYONE!

Before you think I’m nuts (or worse), remember my definition of flirting: a friendly act of communicating interest in another person. So, to flirt with everyone, you really work on being more interested in and curious about others, and finding ways to communicate that interest in a friendly way. As always, use your common sense and don’t do anything that would compromise your core values or tarnish your reputation. Beyond that though, flirt away! 

As you hone and develop this skill, you’ll learn to tune in to the people who hold your interest for romance, dating and love. By then, you’ll be a flirting expert, and sparks will fly when your path crosses with The One.

If you need more help becoming a master flirt, SUPERFLIRT by Tracey Cox is an excellent resource. (Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, so if you buy the book through this link, I may get a couple cents in my bank account. And that’s a good thing.

Fly along and flirt my friends. As they say, there’s nothing to it but to do it. 

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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KL’s LoveNotes #14: Create A Map To Your Heart

July 16, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 14 Create A Map To Your Heart

There’s so many ways and places that you could meet your next love. It’s better to allow that love to find the best way to flow into your life rather than you going out trying to find one person in seven billion people on earth.

Give yourself a winning edge by determining all the different roads and paths your soulmate can use to reach you. Make it a visual exercise and have fun with it. Here’s how:

First, find a great photo of yourself–a headshot where your smiling face is showing. The picture should represent how you’d like the one for you to see you. You might want to look sexy in it, be glammed up and gorgeous in it, or just casual natural you. You might be doing something fun in, or it might capture a special moment in your life. You’ll know the right photo when you find or take it.

Next, place that photo in the center of a blank piece of paper, or a Word Document. Then, draw a big heart around it.

At the top of the page, write: THE WAY TO MY HEART. You can also use your name instead of “my” to make it more personal.

Now, start drawing lines, paths or roads that lead to your photo heart in the center from various directions. You can have as many or as few as you’d like, but I recommend starting with at least 3-5 paths on your map.

On each of the roads, write one possible way that your perfect partner might meet or access you. The options are only limited by your imagination, so you can go wild here, or keep it practical. Think about the places you like or want to go, the things you like or want to do. Here’s some examples:

  • Church
  • School
  • Volunteering with…
  • Online sites 
  • Social Media
  • Introduced by Friends or Family
  • My favorite museum
  • Book club
  • Dance club
  • Concerts and shows
  • Local grocery store
  • Etc…

Be sure to create paths that you’d actually WANT to meet the love of your life. Some people won’t want to date a coworker or meet in a bar. But, don’t take it too seriously either. The truth is you won’t really know how you will ultimately stumble upon the one, and you don’t need to. This is a visualization exercise, the point of which is to generate tons of allowing Emotional Energy for you so that you can see there are many ways to find the love you seek, or for it to find you. The “map” can also be used as a great resource for creating your dating strategic plan down the line.
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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and let’s work together…to get her.

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