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I Am Not My Weight

January 4, 2016 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

I'm Not Where I Want To Be, But I'm Not Where I Was

I’m Not Where I Want To Be, But I’m Not Where I Was

Hi there, it’s Coach KishaLynn.

I know it’s been quite a while. I am writing to share something that I haven’t shared anywhere, or with anyone else yet.

If you’ve been following me for the past few years, you may know that on my 30th birthday in 2010, I weighed 331 lbs. Horrified that my weight was more than 10 times my age, and wanting more for and from myself, I embarked on a journey for a healthy body. Over the next four years, through regular food tracking, fitness training and nutrition coaching, I lost 120 pounds. My lowest weight got to 212, but on average I was hanging out between 220 and 225 during 2014. During that time, I also started a personal development business, published a book, and got a full-time coaching job working at a school for homeless youth.

2015 came. On many fronts it was a strong year for me. I traveled across the country for business and pleasure. I vacationed in Mexico in January and Italy in September. I developed a new business model around all-inclusive self-love retreats for women. And, my wife and partner of 10 years is now four months pregnant with our first child. All of that is seen and celebrated by my loved ones, my clients, and by me.

What isn’t known (though may be evident to those paying close attention), is that I gained 40 pounds back last year.

Life took its toll in 2015.

Codi, my amazing nutrition coach and personal trainer, moved away in January. I did not replace him with another accountability system. I became “too busy/tired” to work out. I became “unmotivated/undisciplined” about tracking my food. I gained five pounds right away.

We were hit with a major IRS audit in March that impacts our financial outlook to this day. I ate my money fears. Gained another five pounds.

The process of getting my wife pregnant this summer was emotionally difficult and expensive. I ate the anxiety. Then I went on an iCation to Italy in September and ate EVERYTHING. Ten more pounds gained.

Then in November, my father died. I ate the grief and gained 20 pounds in the last two months of the year.

My clothes stopped fitting. Having long purged my closet of sizes 20 and up, I took advantage of Black Friday deals to restock my closet with enough clothes to get through the short San Diego winter. My collarbones have retreated and my old friend the double chin is back in town. Worst of all, I have food allergies that are moderate (corn, dairy, soy) to severe (gluten–wheat, barley and rye). Yet, I continually ate foods that made me sick, knowingly and willingly. I tried to mitigate the discomfort with enzymes and supplements. However, I still suffered from skin rashes, headaches, constipation, stomach upset, and fatigue in addition to weight gain.

Three days ago I weighed in at 260 pounds on New Years Day 2016.

I'm not fat, my wife is pregnant. ;)

I’m not fat, my wife is pregnant. ;)

But here’s the thing. I don’t hate myself for it.

I am big on self-love, confidence and acceptance. I measure my value by far more than the number on a scale. My worth is not determined by the size of my clothes. Additionally, I have a great network of inspiring motivators that advocate against all forms of body shaming. (Shout out to my coach Molly Morrissey and my friend Lauren Marie Fleming and for constantly speaking encouraging truths to and about me.) So I am not beating myself up about the weight I’ve gained. I am in an emotionally good place with myself. Like Mary J. Blige sang, “I like what I see when I’m looking at me when I’m walking past the mirror.” Double chin and all.

I also realize that my weight gain is a manifestation of deeper issues that I need to address. I am off track of my goal to achieve my healthiest body. For me, a healthy body isn’t so much measured by numbers, but by how I feel in my body and what I am capable of doing physically. I know that if I don’t do something, then all the weight that it took me three years to lose and maintain, will come back in half the time.

It’s the first week of the new year, so of course people everywhere I look “recommitting” to weight loss, nutrition and fitness goals. Most of them will be long abandoned and forgotten by Valentine’s Day. Rather than climb aboard this broken bandwagon, this week I have been checking in with myself to see what I really want to do, and “weighing” my options:

  • I could do the Master Cleanse again. (I used to do it every January and June.)
  • I could try a newfangled detox. (Apple Cider Vinegar is getting a lot of hype these days.)
  • I could join WeightWatchers again. (I started my journey there and lost 75 of the 120 pounds on the program.)
  • I could start working out again. (My wife and I got gymberships in October. We haven’t been back to the gym since the night we signed up.)
  • I could try to barter with a personal trainer and/or nutrition coach again. (Hiring one is strictly out of the budget for foreseeable future).
  • I could go back on an intense eating plan, i.e. the Elimination and FODMAP-restricted diet. (I did this last fall NOT to lose weight, but to narrow down which foods were making me sick.)
  • I could do some or all of these in combination. (And most likely fail by over-trying.)

I can’t say I have made a decision on the best immediate path(s) to take. As I was reflecting though, it occurred to me the one thing I should DEFINITELY do: TALK ABOUT IT.

Being a life coach doesn’t make me inhuman, or impervious to the chaos of life, or incapable of making mistakes. Actually, I like to believe that being a coach makes me damn good at all of the above.

What can be gained, by myself or by others, if I hide and pretend that things like this aren’t happening to me? I would much rather openly share my challenge as I work through it. After all, someone could be reading this, right now, and feel better about themselves and their journey because I shared this truth. Or someone could read this and reach out to me with the motivation and encouragement I’ve been needing to get back on track.

So here I am, Coach KishaLynn, 260 pounds (again) and size 20 (again), saying: “Yeah, me too.”

I still love myself. I AM manifesting my healthiest body, day by day, goal by goal, step by step. But I refuse to do it by acting like the journey is linear. It isn’t, it wasn’t, and it ain’t ever gonna be, for me, and for most people who have enough integrity and self-confidence to tell the truth.

There you have it. I leave you with the great lyrics of Kina’s “Me”:
I’m just me
I’m enough
With myself
I’m in love
I’ve been weak
I’ve been low
Now I’m strong
Now I know
I’m just me
I’m enough
Nothing less
Nothing more
I wish everybody could just
Feel this kind of love.

Always Believing In You…xoxoKL

Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

2 Comments - Categories: blogs

July’s Great Truth About You: I AM LOVING!

July 1, 2014 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott
 

July's Great Truth About You is I AM LOVING

July’s Great Truth About You is I AM LOVING

It’s JULY!! And that means, it’s time for a new Great Truth About You! This is a special month because it represents a full year of This Stuff’s Working Coaching guiding you on this journey to discover…no…REMEMBER, the best things that are good and true about you! We restart the cycle with July’s Great Truth About You: I AM LOVING! Yes it’s true!!! 

I am loving. 
I love. 
I am loved. 
I am love. 
I love me. 
I love you. 
You love me. 
Love me. 
Love you.
Love.
I am loving. 

With this comes the return of KL’s Love Notes to social media! I’m excited to get them before new eyes and teach more people how to manifest the relationship they seek and find their equal in love and in life. 

Finally, look for a Love Quote of the day across my social networks and let’s have some good conversations about what it means to love and BE loving. 

Have I told you I love you today? (I love you.) Have you? Get to it! 

 
With Great Love,
 
Coach KishaLynn
 

No Comments - Categories: 12Truths, LOVING

Do You Love Yourself?

June 20, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott
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A few weeks ago my friend Shayla Logan told me about this online challenge called 100 Days of Self-Love.

The idea is to start expressing love for yourself each day in a public, visible way, for 100 days straight. Each individual starts on their own, rather than all at the same time, brilliantly creating a perpetual garden of self-lovers, some on day 90, some on day 9, etc. Shayla even created a Facebook group where these self-lovers could unite and support each other.

This concept awesome in its simplicity and its impact.

When I heard about this, my response was, that’s great! However, I’m pretty sure my people are tired of hearing how much I love myself. I mean, I’m a pretty self-centered person. Me, myself and I are in my top 5 favorite words. (Perpendicular and Conquistador are #1 and #2, FYI…) So, how could I embark upon this challenge without appearing that my ego has totally run amok to my people, and quite honestly, to myself?

Shayla told me that this expression of self-love is not about vanity, conceit, or ego. Those things are superficial. This idea is about unearthing the true self-love that is innate within us, buried under mounds of self-loathing.

I took that in, realizing that my fear of what others would think about me joining this challenge was really a manifestation of self-loathing. I don’t feel confident about how confident I am!

I sat on that for a minute. It was really “deep” (and I don’t really use “coachy” terms like that!)

I didn’t join the challenge. But I did join the Facebook group and start watching others self-love. I really enjoy reading Shayla’s and others daily self-love posts. I have seen all kinds of different, wonderful, humorous, authentic things being appreciated.

It occurred to me that 100 days is a long time. Over that time, there may be some superficial, ego-riffic posts of self-praise on some days. Other days, it might be hard to come up with something to love. That’s probably where the magic lies in this challenge–connecting to love where there is a disconnect and being forced to go beyond the surface of what is good and true about yourself.

Aha! I said. (Another “coachy” term I don’t really use.) I get it now. I will start the challenge.

Will…as in future tense. As in not immediately but soon. As in, haven’t done it yet because…

Because I’m waiting on a Monday. No, a Sunday would be better. Darn I forgot to post Sunday so I’ll just wait for next Sunday. No, Monday is really a better day to start. Oops I didn’t start on Monday…and now it’s Thursday.

Isn’t it funny the little games we play with ourselves when it comes to starting things that are good for us? It’s like that old conversation around when to start eating healthier, or when to begin a workout routine. It’s ridiculous! There’s nothing special about Sunday or Monday. No one is keeping track but you!

Today is a great day to start 100 days of self-love! Just like today is a perfect day to begin eating healthier, start working out, initiate daily meditation or any other thing that is good, helpful, and can push us to the next level-our best self!

I firmly believe that it only takes 30 days (or less) to completely change your entire life. This challenge has three of those cycles plus almost another two weeks! By the time I reach Day 100, I know my life will be very different–I’ll be a new age (33), it will be a new season (Fall), and those are just the changes I’m SURE of at this time.

I look at my life today and see all kinds of evidence that more self-love is needed. I want to find it, and I want to share it with my people. Not because I’m a narcissistic maniac. But because…well, I think Rickie Byars-Beckwith and the Agape International Choir say it best in their song “I Love Myself So Much”:

I love myself so much
That I can love you so much
That you can love you so much
That you can start loving me.

The idea is that self-love spreads love to others. I really and truly get it now!

So let’s begin. Day 1 of 100 Days of Self-Love.

I love that I love myself so much.

Want in? To join 100 Days of Self-Love, just start sharing and counting an expression of self-love daily on your social media pages, your blog, via email or whatever ways fit best for you.

There’s a hashtag for it: #lovemerevolution.

There’s a Facebook group for it: 100 Days of Self Love.

Here’s more info from the pinned post on the Facebook group:

This campaign is one that anybody can join at any time. It is a campaign to shift the common collective away from self-loathing and over to self-loving. I believe that self love is an innate instinct that we have lost. It is time we reclaimed it. That is what this campaign is about. As we share our reasons why we believe we are valuable upon this earth, it will bounce off each other, it will spread, it will reflect itself in the group consciousness and we will feel the change. We will start to value ourselves more as humans and bring that honoring into our political and social systems. These are needed changes. These are timely changes. It is time. I love myself. Do you? If so, share why you are special. Why you matter. In doing so, we are changing the whole world!-Jackie Barros VanCampen

Hey, if you haven’t heard it today yet, I LOVE you. Love me back by loving you, and spreading the word!

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2 Comments - Categories: blogs