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KL’s LoveNotes #4: Enjoy Your Independence

July 4, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Kls Lovenote 4 Enjoy Your Independence

 

I absolutely know and agree that it is WONDERFUL to find true love, your soulmate, the one you’ve been waiting for. It’s out there and it’s coming to you.

But in the meantime…

Why not ENJOY being single? There is a freedom in it that goes away when you fall in love, get married, start a family, etc. Everything becomes about WE instead of ME.

Relish your own company and the company of friends and family during this time. Make it about me, myself and I for this last brief moment in your life. Like Beyonce said: I’m a Grown Woman. I can do whatever I want!

Freedom and independence don’t disappear when you enter a relationship, but it does evolve. Believe me, it’s very different when the conversation on what to do, where to go, what to eat, when to leave, and how to plan involves two people instead of one.

Make these final days of living single the TIME OF YOUR LIFE!

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to Find Your Equal in love and in life. If you are ready for true love, schedule a free initial consultation and get to the love you seek in twelve weeks!

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KL’s LoveNotes #2: Love Yourself First

July 2, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

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Self-love is the most important love.

You really, really, need to be the love of your life.

Let me say that again.

YOU NEED TO BE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.

If you’re out there looking for your ideal partner, but you haven’t gotten clear about all the things that are wonderful, worthy and lovable about you, then you run the risk of attracting someone that doesn’t appreciate, value, or love you the way you deserve.

Why? Because like attracts like.

Or, to put it another way: if you can’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you? How can you love anyone else?

The first stage of my work with clients seeking to manifest true love is all about self-love. We don’t even start talking about criteria or searching or any of the technical stuff until there is 100% crystal clarity on:

  • How awesome and beautiful you are
  • How whole you are ON YOUR OWN
  • Everything you have to offer in a relationship
  • All the things there are to love about you
  • How worthy you are of the love you seek

These things matter more than your criteria for your ideal partner. They matter MOST.

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KishaLynn Elliott is a coach, inspirational speaker, and author of the bestselling e-book A D.R.E.A.M. Comes True: 5 Steps to Planning and Creating Your Personal Success Story NOW! She teaches single lesbians to manifest their ideal partner. If you are ready to Find Your Equal, schedule a free initial consultation and get to the love you seek in twelve weeks!

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How to RISE Above Resisting Emotional Energy

May 14, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott
You can RISE above resisting emotional energy.

You can RISE above resisting emotional energy.

It takes some strong emotional muscles to shift your emotional energy where it needs to be to get powerful result. Here is a special process I’ve developed to help with that called RISE. 

  1. RECOGNIZE that the resisting emotional energy that you are feeling that is slowing or stopping you from progress towards your desired outcomes. 
  2. IDENTIFY the allowing emotional energy you’d like to feel that will help you move forward, or move faster, towards your desired outcomes. 
  3. SUMMARIZE the tactics you can use to help you feel the allowing emotional energy. 
  4. EXECUTE 1-2 things on that list until you have shifted into a more allowing emotion. 

 Here’s a template you can use to work through this process: 

RECOGNIZE: “I am feeling (insert resisting emotional energy) which is slowing or stopping me from being/doing/having (insert desired outcome).” 

IDENTIFY: “Feeling (insert allowing emotional energy) would help me move forward, or faster, towards being/doing/having (insert desired outcome).” 

SUMMARIZE: “Here is a list of some things could make me feel (insert allowing emotional energy listed above) right now: (list your feel-good tactics)”

EXECUTE: “I will do the following (choose a feel-good tactic from above to do immediately).” 

Here’s a sample Real Life Application: 

I am feeling upset with my colleague, which is slowing or stopping me from finishing my own work

Feeling content with myself would help me move forward towards finishing my own work. 

The things that make me feel content with myself are: My power affirmation, a look in the mirror, listening to Mary J. Blige’s “Just Fine”, receiving a hug, expressing gratitude for something in my life, saying a prayer. 

I am going to write down my power affirmation and meditate on it for 10 seconds. I am whole, perfect, sexy, strong, powerful, rich, loving, harmonious, wise, happy, grateful, and free. Then I’ll put “Just Fine” on, and get back to work! 

REMEMBER: 

  • Resisting emotional energy is any feeling that is HARMFUL TO YOUR GOAL in any given moment. On the surface it can be emotions that are typically deemed “negative” (i.e. fear, doubt, insecurity, anger, jealousy, etc.) However, ANY any feeling slowing you down from your goal is resisting emotional energy. For example, “funny” can be a resisting emotional energy if the desired outcome is to prepare for a serious discussion.  
  • Allowing emotional energy is any feeling that is HELPFUL TO YOUR GOAL in the moment. On the surface it can be emotions that are typically deemed “positive” (i.e. love, joy, gratitude, abundance, confidence, etc.) However, ANY feeling that moves you towards your goal is allowing emotional energy. For example, “defensive” can be an allowing emotional energy if the desired outcome is to stand up against abuse. 
  • There’s all kinds of ways to shift emotional energy, depending on the time, environment, and situation you are in. Use what you know about yourself to create a menu of shifters such as: 
    • Taking a walk/stretch
    • A few deep breaths
    • Playing a song/video
    • Saying a mantra/affirmation
    • Looking at a beautiful image
    • Reading a motivational quote
    • etc, etc, etc. 
  • Get creative–really think about the things you can do to make yourself feel whatever emotion you want to feel. What has made you feel the allowing emotional energy in the past? 
  • The RISE process can take a while to complete effectively–sometimes days or weeks. Or it can be done in a matter of seconds/minutes if you really strengthen this muscle within you. 

The key here is to do the work now to BUILD AN ARSENAL of emotional energy shifters, so that when needed in the moment, you can know automatically what you need to do for yourself to shift to a better place before responding to any given situation. It takes a keen sense of self-awareness, and practice of course. But, you’ve got nothing but time to perfect this critical skill.

RISE above. 

 

 

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DREAM Tips For Your Life

January 2, 2013 - Author: KishaLynn Elliott

Goals, resolutions, goals, resolutions…it’s certainly been a theme. I believe that the reason most New Years resolutions fails is the mistake made in only resolving to take on major changes as a new year approaches. There’s no magic associated with January 1 that flips our commitment switch! January 1 is a fresh start. But EVERY DAY is a new opportunity. Oh and making sweeping major changes? Honey, please! Do yourself a favor and implement a number of small, but meaningful changes that you can actually stick as time passes over the year.

Now that we have that resolved (do you see what I did there??), I want to share a few tips with you! I’m trying not to repeat anything I’ve already seen (and there was a DELUGE of goal tips circulating online and in email as 2012 wound down!), but these are tried and true methods that work for me!

Whether in shape or out of shape, our workout journey begins the same. LACE EM UP!

DREAM Body Tips

  • Put your workout clothes on every day. Donning those sneakers, regardless of how you feel about working out, drastically increases the chances that you’ll actually move your body. Getting dressed is half the battle.

  • Look at your body everyday with appreciation. Stand before the mirror (clothing optional) and observe yourself without judgment, but with true appreciation from head to toe. Your body is more than its weight/size. Take a moment to appreciate all it does for you beyond the way it looks in clothes.
  • Here’s a way to ensure you get that daily multi-vitamin down. Put it on your alarm clock. Each night, after you’ve set your alarm, set your multivitamin right on top of it! The closer to the SNOOZE the better. When it goes off in the morning, you have more than a reminder to take your vitamin. You have your vitamin! No excuses.

Get that vitamin down as soon as you get up!

DREAM Life Tips

  • Schedule meditation time daily. While some prefer to meditate into sleep, if you aren’t single, this can create distance between you and your partner. (Sorry honey, no snuggles tonight, must meditate). So I recommend starting your day with your meditation and visualization exercises, which may mean waking up 30-60 mins earlier than normal. Or, split your lunch hour: Eat for 30mins, meditate for 30 mins.

    OHM my God, Meditation totally works!

    Midday meditation can be a great boost.

  • Turn your bathroom mirror into a dry erase board. Get a dry erase marker, and write out your goals, your power affirmation, or even an outline of your D.R.E.A.M. plan. You can’t miss it throughout the day, and you can change it whenever you want, with no need to invest in a pricey whiteboard. Try it for a week and see how it helps keep you aware and focused on your desires.

DREAM Love Tip

  • Write out a job description for your next date or relationship. Include a “company overview” describing all of the things that are great about you, your relationship mission and vision. Build a list of responsibilities-what you expect the relationship to do for you, the required criteria/qualifications/capabilities. Include how to apply–thinking through the ways you can be accessed and the questions that you need answered right away. You won’t necessarily publish this listing, but it will serve as a road map for your journey to love. BONUS TIP: Do the same thing for your next job. Watch what happens!

DREAM Income Tips

Wealth comes from within.

  • Be genuinely grateful for what you have. When you check your bank balance or count the cash in your wallet say out loud: “Thank you for this $X.XX.”
  • Expect and visualize having more. Two concrete ways that I do this: When I get receipts from the ATM showing my remaining balance, I visualize an additional 1 in the front and 0 on the end of the dollar amount number (before the cents) So, if I have $136.38, I visualize it for a moment as $11,360.38. On check stubs, I take a pencil and alter the amount by adding a 1 to the front and a zero to the end of the entire number, then I change the decimal to a comma. So, if the check stub says $1,000.00, it becomes $11,000,000! Visualizing that amount feels pretty darn good. I will usually express or write beneath it: “Thank you for this eleven million dollars! I am RICH! This Stuff’s Working!” NOTE: Do this on stubs only. Do NOT alter actual checks. :)

Photo credit: M. Dolly / Foter / CC BY-SA
Photo credit: jypsygen / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND
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Photo credit: AMagill / Foter / CC BY

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